That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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