i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
