And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
