Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the day after is always just damage control
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You have to summon your inner elephant
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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