moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
