This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I am naked and annoyed.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
