I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
