You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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