Whod you bang
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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