Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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