Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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