They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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