I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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