Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
