It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
