This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just googled if crying burns calories
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
