she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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