his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need water and some morals
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
