Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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