Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
