the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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