i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
