I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
