you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
