Swine flu. Run for my life!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
