OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
