Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
