We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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