Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
