Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
