If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
