OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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