we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He shit in the fireplace
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
