Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Are we still banned from the library?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
