That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
