You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
