i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
