Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
