Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
