Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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