Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
