I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
