We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
