It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
