he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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