TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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