Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
