What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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