I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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