I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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