Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
